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Five Tips for the Shy Realtor

Apr 25, 2018 1:38:15 PM

 If you love the idea of selling real estate but find the prospect of calling people and making connections uncomfortable, then read on, Shy Realtor. This blog’s for you!


If you feel a sudden need to clean the tile grout or organize the junk drawer when it’s time to pick up the phone and reach out to potential leads... I’m calling your foul, Shy Realtor.

But don’t feel bad!

Calling “strangers” can be a stressful task for anyone, even super social folks!

As a matter of fact, studies show that roughly 48% of Americans consider themselves shy!

Whether your nerves stem from an innate timidity, or just concern that the people you contact will react negatively, shyness can sabotage your career!

Coined “Contact-Hesitation,” authors George W. Dudley and Shannon L. Goodson explain the consequences of being a shy prospector in their book, Earning What You’re Worth:

”If they learn to cope with and overcome these bouts, [of contact-hesitation] their careers will suffer no permanent damage. If not, their names will be added to the ever-growing list of once-successful salespeople.”

Yikes... Who wants their name taking up space on that plaque of shame? Certainly not you!

If that little tidbit wasn’t enough to have you reaching for a pen and paper to take some serious notes on this post, here’s another disconcerting revelation...

According to a Stanford University study, a shy person’s worry about what people think, self-analyzation, and stress about what to say or do next may predispose them to high blood pressure!   

OK, Shy Realtor — you need a game plan if you don’t want to wake up one day to find yourself wandering through a dusty career-desert, clutching your overworked heart.

Lucky for you, we’ve already put together a fabulously helpful list of five simple things that can break the pattern of work-related shyness.

That means more listings for you...and what Realtor isn’t aiming to have a date book (or phone organizer) absolutely brimming with all of the listings they’re currently working?

Your shyness doesn’t have to hold you back anymore!

Read on to discover how you can banish the bashfulness and start building your business!

1. Know your strengths

One of the most helpful things you can do is make a list of your best character traits.

This gets you in touch with the personal strengths that you are already rocking.

An actual piece of paper with positive words that can be read, re-read, pondered, and absorbed can be a great tool when you’re facing pre-call nerves.

Think... locker room before a big game...

Coach comes in and delivers a pep-talk...just words really, but those words are full of the power to encourage, inspire, and motivate. His players get pumped-up and super excited to go out onto the field and play their hearts out.

Maybe you’re not into sports, but the principle is the same.

Reading a list of the strengths you possess is like getting your own pep-talk before the big game...or in this case, phone call.

If you can’t come up with a solid list on your own, just enlist some family or close friends...sometimes when it comes from somebody else, it’s even more encouraging!

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2. Conversational Focus

Next time you’re ready to reach for the phone, remember to think about the conversation... and only the conversation.

Focus on the information you want to impart and/or to receive, based on the purpose of your call, and not the many possible responses of your prospect.

Derailed call-confidence may cause you to reach for the toothbrush and grout cleaner instead...

Psychologist Philip Zimbardo says,

"Concern for consequences always makes you feel somewhat anxious. And that anxiety will impair the shy person's performance.”

Your own mind is your biggest hurdle, Shy Realtor, because when allowed to function without conscious parameters, it often chooses to focus on the things you’re most insecure about.

It’s human nature to assess weaknesses in order to calculate the odds of survival...but we aren’t talking about hunting wooly mammoths here, or making a speech to Congress...

You just need to pick up your phone to grow your business. That’s it.

So in order to stay in the game, there needs to be a concentrated effort to keep the mind from straying into the “No Trespassing” zone of our insecurities — at least when the “Open for business” sign is on the door.

3. Attack the Shame

Legendary psychologist Albert Ellis, developed what he called the "shame-attacking exercise."

He decided that he would talk to any woman sitting by herself on a bench in New York’s Botanical Garden.

"Thirty walked away immediately," he told the New York Times. "I talked with the other 100, for the first time in my life, no matter how anxious I was. Nobody vomited and ran away. Nobody called the cops."

Dr. Ellis’ shame-attacking exercise illustrated that when the human mind recognizes the lack of perceived consequences following a socially odd behavior, it leads to decreased mental anxiety over “normal” interactions.

In other words, if you bust-a-move and Electric-Slide your way down the grocery store aisle and don’t find yourself ridiculed, burned at the stake, or locked up, your brain will realize:

“Hey, just making a few phone calls is like, totally normal. If I survived an impromptu Wal-Mart dance recital without taking any heat, then these calls are gonna be a piece of cake...good as done. Boom.

Or something like that.

So, consider tackling some shame-attacking... your confidence should be next-level after wearing a tutu over your running clothes!

Here’s a few suggestions for some confidence building shame-busters:

  • Drop some change on the floor in the middle of a crowd
  • Order items that you know aren't on the menu
  • Do karaoke
  • Wear a costume in public
  • Ask for directions to a location you are standing in front of

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4. Break it Down

When we get discouraged, we tend to quit. It’s as simple as that.

If you want to keep your fingers dialing, consider reducing your goal of 10 calls a day (or whatever your number is) down to two or three.

Then, when the prospect of another call or presentation starts to makes you squirm, you can remind yourself you have just ONE MORE to go.

Practice makes perfect, and the more two and three-call days you get under your belt, the sooner you’ll be ready to increase those numbers.

Tying into the Ellis principle of exposure with limited consequences, you will become less worried, and more effective one easily accomplished step at a time.

That means the barren, lonely landscape of a withering career will remain empty — because you’ll be going on to better places!

5. Get the Book!!!

Seriously, if you haven’t already invested in Smart Agents books — you really should give them a solid chance.

Whether you are shy, a social butterfly, or somewhere in between, the real estate agent has never had a better friend than these books. They literally do the hard work for you!

Formally known as Book Leads, your MyBooks membership also includes customized websites and social media marketing tools. Your membership includes:

  • License to use 14 real estate books as your own.
  • Author website that ranks in Google.
  • Your own blog with 100+ pre-written articles.
  • Social media marketing templates.
  • Home value website for capturing leads.
  • Training strategies on how to use your books to get business.

Get these books and put them to work for you! You’ll be amazed when your shyness is no longer an obstacle to your goals and you start booking more listings than ever!

Use Smart Agents resources and begin building a solid system that works for you!

Remember that business you’re passionate about? Get yourself psyched about creating more momentum toward greater success!

You should be excited about the many opportunities your success will bring if you follow through and — with the help of these 5 hints — become an incredibly smart, not-so-shy agent.

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avatar_joeJoe Nickelson is a real estate professional dedicated to helping home buyers and sellers achieve their dreams of owning property, and helping real estate agents stop using the sometimes-vicious tactics that weigh on their consciences. He believes that the Smart Agents books will, quite literally, change people’s lives for the better. Check out his full bio here

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